Unfinished
Rena:
They used to tell me that letting go was good and it would help me later in life. Those people have been long gone and not missed. Maybe it was good advice or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, I decided to live my life without boundaries and those who spent time with me, even for a minute, were allowed to live theirs however they wanted. To me, having relationships with people were like lollipops. Once you start, you can’t stop until it’s gone. People have been in my life where as soon as they enter, they leave just as fast. Maybe they were more like a piece of bubblegum than a lollipop. Even when I was high school, nothing was important to me. Grades, cliques, boys- none of that mattered. All that mattered to me was that I was here and no one could take that away from me.
Matt:
There was a time where everything disappeared. Being alive meant nothing. Just meekly trudging through the day wasn’t good enough. It became a time where survival was the norm and where weakness was never shown. No one went anywhere without the heavy load of protection along with the knowledge that with every step they take, death was awaiting them on the other side.
Safety. What is that? Is it where you have a home with a security pad or is it found within someone’s arms? I never felt it here. Here is where no one steps a foot into. It’s unforgettable yet it’s unspoken of. It’s not a place where you can leave any time you want. You’re owned by it and it will never give you up. You are obligated to enter and not look back or think twice about anything.
Coming back to Chicago where it’s full of life, I forgot about what I’ve been through. I focused on being alone with no sounds. I wasn’t ready for Chicago. When I arrived in front of my house, I couldn’t believe how familiar it all really was. The times where I would sneak in after a party, where I got a broken nose from Bradley Cohen and the last time I saw my parents. I jumped passed the third step, remembering how it was on the verge of collapsing. An old man was turning the corner and onto the property.
“I got that step fixed years ago. There’s no need to jump it,” he said fumbling with the keys. He came up the steps and onto the porch, still trying to find the right key. In doing so, he dropped the set of keys and I reached down to pick them up for him. He paused a moment, but roughly grabbed the keys. “You haven’t changed much.”
The door opened and I was greeted by the smell of my mother’s home cooking. I walked in and put my jacket up on the coatrack that was still standing straight after eight years. I slowly looked around, remembering how familiar everything really was.
“So, what do you want?” the old man brought out a glass cup and poured water into it from the sink.
“I heard she’s sick,” I swallowed loudly.
He sat down in a worn down chair. “They told me that it won’t be very long.” I stood very still, afraid of moving.
“Where is she?”
He glared over at me. “Oh, no. You’re not going to go see her. She’s already had enough of everything. You’re not going to do her any good.”
Arguing with him never fixed any of our problems in the past and it wasn’t going to fix this one either. “I just wanted to let her know that I came home.”
“Why? You were never good at home. How can you even call this your home? You went around and vandalized it! Would you treat the place you live like that?” he stood up.
I shook my head. “I made mistakes, I know that, but I came past that.”
“Well, we can’t. You caused her so much pain. She tells me that she wakes up from nightmares about you. She dreams about you dying out there,” he pointed his finger at me.
I came closer to him. “That’s why I want to see her. I want her to know that I’m here for her and that I came back for her.”
“You’re going to bring her more pain if you go there. She’s going to think she’s hallucinating. It would be best if you just left her alone. Don’t come back. Let her think that you’re dead,” he looked away and rubbed his almost hairless head.
“I promised her I would come back.”
“Promise?” he laughed. “What do you know about a promise? You’ve broken all of the ones you set. What’s another one being broken going to do?”
(Source: nothingbutadreamer)
