May 2012
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Rena:
“Don’t you get sick of just doing puzzles all the time?” he rolled his head back.
The side of my mouth twitched upward. “It keeps my mind off of things.”
He stood up and walked behind the couch, “Like what?” He looked out the window, the sun setting behind the buildings. I placed the piece back into the box and looked over at him. He shifted his...
April 2012
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Rena:
“Hello, Rena. My name’s Sigmund Lieberman. I’m the forensic psychiatrist for this precinct,” he calmly sat down in the chair opposite me. He waited for a response. I just stared back at him blankly. He moved on. “Do you know what I do?”
“You study the behavior of someone with a mental disability.”
He gave a faint smile. “Well,...
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Rena:
“Sorry about that,” Detective Price re-entered the cluttered room. He sat down across from me and placed a cup of steaming coffee in front of me. I crept upon the cup, my fingers thawing against the side of it.
“How much longer do I have to stay here for?” I crinkled my nose.
He hesitated. “Rena, is there something that has been bothering you for a...
March 2012
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Rena:
“Should I have come with someone?” I asked, twisting a piece of my wet hair in the elevator.
Detective Price wiped off the rain from his forehead. “You didn’t need to,” he looked over at me and gave me a look as if he knew I saw Matt.
I quietly nodded. My heart raced as the elevator cranked open. I let in a sharp breath. The noises of ringing telephones, the shuffling of case files and...
February 2012
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Rena:
“If you come down with me and pick out the guys in a line up, this can all just go away. You’ll be known as our protected witness and they can’t find you,” he folded his hands, patiently waiting for me to respond.
“I have to go now?” My heart picked up its pace.
He solemnly nodded. “It’ll be quick. You go and pick them out and then you can...
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Rena:
“Do you understand what you are going to be doing?” Detective Price quietly asked, his deep eyes filled with concern.
I nodded. “I don’t want to be a part of this anymore. Everything I told you has been a lie.”
His eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched. “Rena, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just thought if I lied, everything would go...
January 2012
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Rena:
My eyes shot open and I quickly sat up, adjusting to my surroundings. Matt’s hazy figure became clear. He was curled up on the couch, shaking from the cold. His hair was matted on his forehead with sweat and his arms were crossed against his chest.
I slid out of bed, careful not to place any weight on my left ankle. I wobbled my way over to the couch, wary of my hurt ankle, but as I sat...
December 2011
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Rena:
“I don’t want any of this leading back to me,” I gripped my hands together. Sweat slipped down my neck. The images kept appearing. The guy’s face. His eyes boldly staring into mine. His spit piled in front of my door. The way they all ran away like cowards when a distant door opened.
The detectives glanced over at each other. “We’ll see what we can...
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Rena:
“Miss Spero, open up. It’s Detective Price and Detective Winter. We need to talk to you,” he pounded on the door.
I covered my ears. I heard Matt shuffle to the door. “Mr. Lowenthal?” the detective asked, confused.
“Could I speak with you outside?” I heard Detective Winter step out of the frame. I looked up to catch Matt shut the door behind him.
...
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Rena:
He quickly came knocking at my door after a few minutes after I had shut my door and crumpled the card the detective gave me.
“Rena,” he panted out of breath, “please let me in.” I quickly ushered him in, afraid of seeing those three men appear in the hall. “What’s going on?” he asked as he settled the brown package down.
I shivered against the...
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Rena:
The three men came and went throughout the whole week. But then one day, they just stopped showing up and banging on the door. The floor was silent again. No yelling. No arguing. No nothing. Empty.
They clearly must have meant their threats. Apartment 38C was under investigation.
“Is anybody home?” a muffled voice came through the door. “CPD open up.”
I shyly...
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Rena:
There’s a way to never let go, but then there’s another way to just forget. Where everything and anything means nothing. Living inside, unable to venture out, causes one to take those two ways and merge them into one road, which one will constantly take because it’s the only way one knows to go. The constant reminder in my flesh. The sounds echoing in my ears. The fear...
November 2011
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Rena:
Within a blink of an eye, the hands of the clock shifted. It took every bit of strength to open my eyes and stay put instead of logging onto Dico’s puzzles and ordering puzzles. The pitter-patter of rain slashed against the windows, soothing me to sleep. Once again, there was nothing for me to do. The apartment was empty. There were no sounds of pieces clacking onto the wooden floor....
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Rena:
The door knocked as I slowly shuffled out of bed from my sleepless night. The room was cold with the thick air still. As I left the bedroom, the gray clouds outside colored the living room with charcoal shadows.
“Who’s there?” I whispered against the door.
There were squeaks of shoes on the other side. “Hey Rena, it’s Matt. I’ve got your...
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Rena:
It was routine. Order puzzles, greet Matt inside and do puzzles together for thirty minutes. He was my gateway drug out of my apartment. The long wait for someone to come along and persuade me into talking with them was finally over.
“Well,” Matt straightened his back and stretched his arms, “I guess that’s it for today.” He smiled at me.
I returned a small...
October 2011
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Rena:
His eyes lazily staring at me with one eyebrow cocked up. His smile almost seemingly crooked, but straight. That was what I constantly thought about. The way he was never afraid or drawn away from anything made me want to know more. How was he able to live on the outside, with no worries? Was it easy?
I quickly ordered some puzzles to see him again, but he didn’t show up. A different...
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Rena:
With my heart thumping, I crept toward the couch and curled up on the opposite side of him. The sun glistened through the cheap curtains as he took each piece and placed them in the right crooks. “What got you interested in them?”
He flipped his head my way, his eyes matching mine. I looked away. “I’ve never tried them before,” he looked back down. I glanced...
September 2011
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Rena:
Once I started, it was like there was no end. I could spend days just laying on the wooden floor doing these puzzles. I was addicted and there was no way out of it. Once I finished all the ones I had, I ordered more. At first, I ordered all sorts of puzzles. One from each category. But then I realized that they weren’t enough. There was no passion. I remembered how I felt when I did...
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Rena:
I picked up the phone and dialed home. My father’s raspy voice answered.
“Dad,” I swallowed, “it’s me, Rena.”
“Rena? Rena, hey, what’s going on?” I heard my mother drop the dishes in the sink and rush over to the phone next to my dad.
“I was thinking about how Mom told me to come home and I-“
“We’ll take you...
August 2011
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Rena:
I shoved the package in my closet and didn’t look at it for days. Just thinking about doing something a bit productive was nauseating. My mom called every day within each hour trying to reach me and I finally decided to pick up one of them.
“Did you get it?” her voice was filled with excitement.
I sat down on the worn, navy couch. “Yeah.”
“How far did you get?” I pictured her smiled growing...
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Rena:
I found an apartment a block away from Visceral. It was perfect. It was shaded from the public and I was able to see the ballet studio. I had a lot of extra time on my hands since I never left my apartment. I had my groceries delivered to me and my parents sent me checks every week. They called all the time to ask how I was doing, but I barely picked up their calls. My mom called me one day...
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Hurricane Irene
I’ve lived on Long Island for my whole life. Nothing too out of the ordinary has ever happened. Earthquakes and hurricanes were almost fictional. Who knew?
What’s it going to be like? The Day After Tomorrow?
I have too many things I want to do. But I doubt I’ll die.
First signs of 2012:
1. On August 1, on the way to my dad’s office it hailed blocks of ice. It ended up...
2 tags
Ten Things I Wish About You
I wish you said hi to me because you liked me.
I wish you smiled at me because you liked being around me.
I wish you held my hand.
I wish you knew how much you meant to me.
I wish you made time for me every day.
I wish you told me that I was the only one you wanted to see.
I wish you cared about me more.
I wish you told me I was beautiful.
I wish you were sleeping next to me.
I wish you...
6 tags
I've been thinking..
How many hints do they need to figure out what’s right in front of them?
Do they know I like them?
Am I just not as important as the other people they take pictures with?
What am I to them?
Do they know that they’re always on my mind?
Am I anything to them?
Have they been thinking about me?
How will you know? You won’t until you get out there! We all know that’s...
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Rena:
It wasn’t always this hard. I used to be happy. I had friends, family and neighbors all supporting me in what ever I did and caring about me. I had my whole life set right in front of me. I was going to be a ballerina and start my own ballet school. It was what I was meant to do. I was truly happy and had a direct route I knew I was going to take- for a first.
I never told anyone...
4 tags
Perspective
It’s not what he says to me that I like. It’s what he does for me. He would crawl in the mud if I asked him to. I have him wrapped around my finger. Whatever I want, he’ll give it to me. Too bad he can’t ever have what he wants.
He’s nothing but a douche. I see right through him. I don’t understand how all these girls are head over heels for him. He thinks...
Unfinished
Rena:
They used to tell me that letting go was good and it would help me later in life. Those people have been long gone and not missed. Maybe it was good advice or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, I decided to live my life without boundaries and those who spent time with me, even for a minute, were allowed to live theirs however they wanted. To me, having relationships with people were like...
Short Story
“One day I’m gonna go where my momma used to live and stay there forever,” I told Jimmy.
“Well, Anna, where did she live?” he asked, turning his head toward me. I thought for a moment, trying to remember the exact words Momma used to tell me.
Puzzled, I replied, “Momma used to live near a lake, a big one, too. She said that the gulls would always come ‘round and never let...